Dear Reader, this has so much gunk and filler words. But it is about a muddy bank, so leave the gunk. But take off your new fancy shoes, before walking into this one...
I am most selfish to say, but honest to admit that I have lost you, and this was up to you. And that is what picks at me most. The seldom fact that you are gone is not what bothers me but the fact- I did not drop you. Yes, I have dropped many into the lake, to watch them fall. Nights have been lost to sadness and regret to many that I have lost due to all of my own faults. Some i have even let go for my own good. No matter the reason they sank or the ways I let go, each was painful. Watching anyone sink out of my reach, made me feel like a helpless child and too much like a respectable adult. By letting them sink, and watching them lower onto the banks, I have healed. They have healed. Using every ounce of fresh water, and new fish. I have healed. And knowing they will always be still at the bottoms of the banks, I have healed. But i never let go of you, so how would I know where you rest your head? How will I ever know to taste the fresh water? I never dropped you nor let you sink. You simply slipped away and flowed, down the river. Resentful to me, and resentful to sink. Down the river to something new. To fresher water. And dumbly I tried to stop you, acting as if I could lure you back in. But you weren't a hungry guppy, more of a rolling wave. So the wind pushed you, but I like a rock just sank down. I who always rolled others in, now sank to the bottom. Because you have left me, you have dropped me. And now I am seaweed, leaning with the currents toward where you have gone but planted into the ground at the bottom of the banks.
Quote of The Moment:
“The blues is losing someone you love and not having enough money to immerse yourself in drink.”
-Henry Rollins
I am most selfish to say, but honest to admit that I have lost you, and this was up to you. And that is what picks at me most. The seldom fact that you are gone is not what bothers me but the fact- I did not drop you. Yes, I have dropped many into the lake, to watch them fall. Nights have been lost to sadness and regret to many that I have lost due to all of my own faults. Some i have even let go for my own good. No matter the reason they sank or the ways I let go, each was painful. Watching anyone sink out of my reach, made me feel like a helpless child and too much like a respectable adult. By letting them sink, and watching them lower onto the banks, I have healed. They have healed. Using every ounce of fresh water, and new fish. I have healed. And knowing they will always be still at the bottoms of the banks, I have healed. But i never let go of you, so how would I know where you rest your head? How will I ever know to taste the fresh water? I never dropped you nor let you sink. You simply slipped away and flowed, down the river. Resentful to me, and resentful to sink. Down the river to something new. To fresher water. And dumbly I tried to stop you, acting as if I could lure you back in. But you weren't a hungry guppy, more of a rolling wave. So the wind pushed you, but I like a rock just sank down. I who always rolled others in, now sank to the bottom. Because you have left me, you have dropped me. And now I am seaweed, leaning with the currents toward where you have gone but planted into the ground at the bottom of the banks.
Quote of The Moment:
“The blues is losing someone you love and not having enough money to immerse yourself in drink.”
-Henry Rollins
I like his heavy voice in this quote.
2 comments:
HI there wow you are awesome and I love your blogger page. Keep up the good work! :D
You are awesome! It says how I feel without even know I had those feelings! You should be published, I would definately buy your book!
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